Coping with separation

For most people who go through it, divorce or family separation is a hugely significant life event. The mix of feelings is different from person to person, but you can expect the impact to be big, whatever your circumstances.

Before the separation, you probably felt like you had a sense of your place in the world, in your family and as a parent. You probably had an idea of where your life was going and what you hoped to achieve. Regardless of whether you wanted to end the relationship or not, your world will have turned upside down. There will be so many things that need to be sorted out and your future may look uncertain.

In the early days after separation, you may well find yourself ricocheting from one sensation to the next. You're likely to feel that events are controlling you rather than the other way around and your mood may swing from high to low without warning. Your thoughts and feelings might shift around and may appear to be inconsistent. You may feel angry at one moment and sad the next, optimistic in the morning, uncertain by the time night falls. This is normal.

This section is all about the impact that family separation is likely to have on you. It will help you to map some of the changes ahead and give you an idea of what you might have to deal with. It will also offer you some tools for managing the transitions.